Choosing a Word for the Year: My Journey with "Tend"

Jan 6

3 min read

Updated: Sep 8

At the start of each year, I choose one word. This is not a New Year’s resolution or a goal to achieve. Instead, it serves as an anchor I can return to each day.

Last year, my anchor was move.

The Power of "Move"

Move was the perfect word. It didn’t demand motivation or momentum; it simply required motion. Some days, that meant taking a long walk. Other days, it meant standing up from my desk, stretching my body, going to Pilates, or shifting positions when I felt stuck. No matter how heavy the day felt, I could always move. Because movement was always possible, I could succeed every single day.

That word mattered. It helped me stay connected to my body, to forward motion, and to the truth that small steps DO count.

Embracing "Tend"

This year, I’m choosing a different word. My word is tend.

Tend is not about fixing or improving. It’s about self-care without performance. It’s the practice of noticing what needs attention and responding with gentleness instead of urgency. It invites presence rather than productivity.

Daily Practices of Tending

On a daily basis, tend can look insignificant, and that is why I'm choosing it. Tend contains gentle power.

Some days, tending can mean saying a short prayer before my feet hit the floor. Other days, it might be pausing for one minute of silence before opening my email. Sometimes it could be listening to a podcast that articulates something I can't express. Tending may also involve recognizing my own fatigue and choosing not to push through it.

Or simply sitting to watch the sunrise.

A New Perspective on Self-Care

This is a different way of thinking about self-care.

We often imagine self-care as something we add to our lives—a routine, a ritual, or a perfectly executed practice. But tending is about recognizing the care that is already available in the moment. It doesn’t require insight, discipline, or the “right” mindset. It only asks for attention.

What I appreciate most about tend is that it is sustainable on challenging days.

Navigating Difficult Days

On days when I feel emotionally spent, tending might mean doing less and offering myself compassion. On days when I feel triggered or unsettled, it might mean grounding my body, slowing my breath, or delaying a response. On days when I’m highly functional but disconnected, tending might mean stepping outside, drinking water, or turning down the noise instead of adding more.

There is no way to fail at tending because "self benevolence" is available even on imperfect days. Over time, I’ve learned that when something is tended to, it doesn’t stay the same. Tenderly tending changes things quietly, steadily, and often before we notice it happening.

The Journey of Growth

Just like move gave me a way to succeed regardless of circumstances, tend gives me permission to care for myself in ways that are realistic, humane, and sustainable. It honors the truth that growth doesn’t always look like action. Sometimes it looks like listening. Sometimes it looks like rest. Sometimes it looks like simply staying present. I want to begin to honor areas I'm tending for myself, not measuring progress.

Choosing Your Own Word

As you step into this year, consider choosing a word of your own. This word should not be a standard to live up to but rather your daily foothold.

Ask yourself:

What would support me right now?
What kind of tending (care) do I need more of?
What word feels like permission, not pressure?

There’s no right answer. Your word doesn’t have to sound impressive or productive. It just needs to meet you where you are.

If you find one, try carrying it with you into your mornings, your harder moments, and even the days when you’re at your best. Let it guide you gently the way move once guided me, and tend will guide me this year.

Finding Support

If this idea of choosing a word, or tending more gently to yourself this year resonates, both Not a Casserole Widow® and CoachingHope4U exist to offer steady presence, thoughtful resources, and grounded support for individuals and couples navigating change, loss, and rebuilding.