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Do hurt people, really hurt people?

coachinghope4u


Hurt people hurt people.

I’ve been hurt, the nearly destroyed type of hurt, and I don’t “hurt people”.

I was beaten by one of my x husbands. That hurt. I don't beat up men I see because I was hurt.

Doesn’t this statement exempt hurting people from accountability if they in turn hurt people?


I’m not discounting that people who have endured childhood abuse, may not have the tools to parent better.

I’m not debating that controlling negative emotions and triggers which may erupt when hurt people feel uncomfortable emotions, is hard.

And I’m not minimizing the struggle to become emotionally healthy after intense pain, has been placed on another person.


I am asserting, hurt people have a choice. Most of us don’t live in a bubble of isolation.

We have easy access to THOUSANDS of ways to internally heal- internet, google, phones, TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, books, podcasts, coaches, therapists, groups… the list is endless.


I see betrayed partners who have been deliberately hurt by their perceived beloved companions. These men (some women too) have intentionally hidden inappropriate behaviors from them, lied to cover their own shame, gaslit their partners… basically stripped down the person they claim to love and adore to a mangled, depleted woman in brutal pain.


These men, partners, betrayers, abusers, whatever label you want to give them have a choice: either help your partner survive by helping yourself

or

admit you are intentionally going to continue hurting your partner.


All of us have been hurt in our lives and have painful experiences to manage.

Some of us believe the pain we experienced was too excruciating to impart that pain on another person. We get help, embrace personal insights, and allow empathy to lead our hearts.

Some embrace their hurt and use it as entitlement to dump the same pain on others, regardless of the consequences to the other’s spirit.


It’s not very complicated. Hurt people know being hurt, hurts. What they do with their experience from the “hurt” is a choice.



1 Comment


Guest
Oct 08, 2024

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Kim Hansen Petroni

MA- Counseling, BCC- Board Certified Coach

 CPC- APSATS, CES- ERCEM, Brainspotting Practitioner

www.coachinghope4u.com

Kim@CoachingHope4U.com

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I am not qualified to give legal or therapeutic advice. I am not a therapist or an attorney.  Coaching is a guidance system used to assist you in taking action towards your desired goals. The client is responsible for their own mental health. The information exchanged between coach and client is confidential except if required by law.  I am not an attorney and cannot advise you on what your rights are or what steps to take in your case.  The client accepts responsibility to consult with an attorney regarding any legal matters. I am not a financial advisor and cannot advise on financial issues. The client accepts responsibility regarding any financial matters.  

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