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Not a Casserole Widow™: Fear of Success

She said these words:

“I’m not afraid of failure. I’m afraid of success.”

My mind went in to overload.

It was so simply profound, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

And I started seeing that fear everywhere.

Beginning with my own life.

My self review focused on the last 3 years. I shifted from remaining “safely” in a place that would fail, to walking into a place of frightening success.

The next question I asked was, “What was the determining factor that caused my shift from fear of success to actively seeking success?

I think it comes down to this:


Blind courage combined with an annoying self-revelation that my current trajectory was actually based on being a comfortable failure- watching my dreams instead of participating in them. The results of failure are predictable. Success… well, that was a terrifying unknown.

Day by day, moment by moment, I chose the unease of possible success which looked to me like a torturous, amorphous, undefinable unknown-

And at the same time it held in it’s abyss:


Endless possibilities rested in my hope for my future. Sitting in that space of not really knowing what to prepare for was insanely frustrating and at the same time, refreshingly freeing.

My dream to assist betrayed women began 5 years ago started as a statement. When I walked broken and humiliated from a court room in 2018, I asserted,

No woman should endure the court experience I endured alone”.

I never, ever believed that today, I actually have the honor of walking with women into the courtroom. I take this responsibility very, very seriously.

As you pursue this year, when you decide not to achieve certain goals- ask yourself, “Am I afraid of success?” If your answer is yes, close your eyes, take a deep breath and put your foot through that unknown space.


Harry Hoover

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