Don’t underestimate a mother’s ferocious determination to protect her child, ever.
Mother’s Day is kind of like a pressure cooker for me. It is a blend of being grateful for my 4 kids, forcing myself to stop doing laundry, enjoying the independent personality of each child, and ignoring my overwhelming grief. Each sentiment explodes unpredictably throughout the day.
I never dreamed my life would be what it is- relentlessly hard, overwhelming, lonely, isolating, and exhausting.
On top of the emotional fluctuations, I’m fighting an endless battle with the courts in Warren County, Ohio. I’m disheartened with the court’s response to my situation- I can’t decide if it is due to incompetence, misogyny, cowardice, stupidity, or a blend of all 4. I have been so engulfed in the fight for my children, I realized I miss just enjoying them. Today, I embrace these reminders:
My daughter made me a bouquet of paper flowers- she knows I don’t like fresh flowers (they trigger me) but knows I love to look at them. How many hours did it take to create each individual flower?
My older 2 sons gave me a card that read, “To the fiercest mom I know”. And today, as I watched my 16-year-old son, a soccer goalie, get cleated in the face during a game, “fierce” was definitely an accurate description of me… maybe even an understatement.
My youngest son gave me a beautiful pair of earrings with my birthstone- classy earrings- not like the ones from Claire’s (although I would love those too). His grandmother, my mother, told me, “You should have seen his eyes light up when he found the perfect gift for you.”
I have ridden a roller coaster of emotions since my last Mother’s Day- anger, hope, grief, dismay, joy, relief- but the emotion that rests most heavily with me today is the absolute gratitude that I was able to share today with my children.
Over the past 6 years, countless mothers have shared their journeys with me. I am humbled by their faith I will honor and revere their stories. These mothers selflessly give everything they have to support and save their children. I’m sending this on Mother’s Day to recognize the mothers who spend sleepless nights, endless ruminating, and unimaginable finances attempting to keep their children safe. Their labors, regrettably, are unrecognized and unheard for a variety of reasons- physical safety, angry partners, uninformed friends, naive society, and/or fear of retribution from courts.
Mothers, I hear you and I commend you. May your children feel the depth of your steadfast love one day. And as a warning to those who attempt to divert our dedication:
never, ever question a mother’s determination to protect her children.
In an attempt to assist those going through our system, I have created 2 questionnaires- one is for partners going through a divorce in Warren County, Ohio and the other is national. Please feel free to answer one (or both). I know our system will continue to fail us if we remain isolated. Our only hope is for us to begin to unite.
To receive personal support and hope, please visit www.coachinghope4u.com